Am I Back, or Am I Back?

It’s been exactly 1 year and 10 months since my very last article shared on Realmomster. It was a short story on the 4th of November about the Snoozer Boucle nursery glider by Crate & Barrel, which was the dreamiest combination between a super comfortable breastfeeding chair and a chic piece of art in the house. Just perfection.  Anyways, I was 7 months pregnant with my second baby at that time and little did I know that was about to become my last post in a very, very long time. I thought I’d keep writing until I give birth but it seems that my energy decreased with every month and so did my inspiration and creativity. I guess running around in 5 layers of clothing during a cold winter was not that inspirational, more so when at 40 weeks preggo I had to go up and down the snow hills to push and carry my big one on the sleigh. It was however amazing, I love nothing more than winter time and snow, I did enjoy it to the maximum, but I didn’t write about it.

I thought I’d keep writing after giving birth and share my super cool Dutch birth experience because it gave me so much power and confidence that I learnt I can do Anything after that day. Literally anything. Little did I know I would not find neither the time nor the energy and inspiration to write about an experience that felt so personal, so MINE, that I didn’t want to share it with anyone other than my family and close friends. I also thought the hard part was over but what I can say now, one and a half years later, is that nothing compares to how powerful you become after raising two young kids without any help form the outside.

Still to this point we have no daycare, no nannies, no grandparents or aunts or friends or students that take over any kids- related “jobs”. But that’s a story for another post.

As I am typing this I’m sitting alone in a pretty little cafe at the corner of a street, where it smells like coffee and fresh warm croissants, where girlfriends came to gossip over a hot cappuccino, and mothers get their kids warm scones with cream and gem. I had no idea and no intention of ending up here when I went out the door this morning to drop off my big son at school. I just grabbed my laptop one second before leaving – no idea why. My website was not even active anymore for a couple of months now, but I thought I’d try again and – the website opened. I felt thrills down my spine seeing the big title on the homepage and then pushing the “New Post” button. It’s so easy to forget what brings you real joy if you don’t practice it for so long.

I’m not sure where this will go from here – I do have many plans and am planning to launch something very pretty. But I’m now afraid to set a timeline anymore. I don’t know how other mothers do it. Actually I do – with a lot of help. That’s it in a nutshell. That old saying “it takes a village (to raise a kid/ kids)” is not made up. It’s more real than you can imagine, and while we don’t have a village accessible, it always comes down to decisions. Between being there with the kids and working. Between help or no help. Maternity leave or straight back to work. And the list goes on but that’s again, a story for another day.

In this era of speed- I feel like the past two years have transformed into speed speed and more speed-, in these days where people have migrated to this cringe Tik Tok thing just “because they have to, because everyone else is there and so we have do adapt and be present there as well” (eye roll), where the usual pictures on Instagram with nice captions and personal touches have become super fast, and tiring Reels because people don’t even have the patience to read a freaking text anymore; where if you want to share a story or an insight you will do it through 10 stories where you just repeat the same thing over and over again, I think I will take a step back. I can not believe I am the only person left on this planet that still feels the need for a whole hearted story you consume over a nice cup of tea when the house is asleep or early in the morning before everyone wakes, or even while the loud kids go and play and you have 10 minutes for yourself. It can’t all be reels and videos and 15 second stories and fast-content.

Let’s slow down for a second and enjoy a beautiful editorial, read a nice story, and take a few moments to just breath in and out and learn something new, or get inspired by another woman, another mom, another human. Not everything needs to be a “what I eat today in a 20 second reel”. I’m going to bring here some beautiful stories, some fashionable editorials, new partnerships and a big new surprise.

And with saying this, I am finishing the last sip of my oat milk cappuccino, and the last bite of my gem croissant, getting ready to pack my things and go back to my little one who is waiting for me to take him out for his nap in the stroller. It’s only 10 am, and I feel like I had a more productive morning than I had in a very long time. So, like Carrie would say, I couldn’t help but wonder…am I back or am I back?


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