Take a moment, close your eyes and try to picture the piles of laundry waiting to make their way to the washing machine… and some more piles in the other room waiting to be folded and carefully arranged in the right drawers. The dishwasher program has finished 3 hours ago and the clean dishes are waiting to be replaced with the dirty ones from the sink. The toys are everywhere, the sheets need to be changed and you’re basically playing the same game every day with your kids – kings and slaves, guess who’s who-. Whether you have to provide different types of snacks every 5 minutes, do arts and crafts or wipe off bread crumbs, chicken soup stains or cookie dough from the couch, while the only thing you really wanna do is lay on the couch, watch Friends and drink a glass of red wine before noon, the point is the same: you are rocking your mom routine, every single god damn day of the week.
But wait. What if you would delete everything I just said off your mind and hit refresh?
Now try and imagine white sands, crystal clear waters, Margaritas at your disposal around the clock served by a hot pool boy and time for yourself – and your better half – without.no.interruptions.whatsoever. Yes, that means sex whenever you feel like it, and not just after the kids are asleep and you are barely keeping your eyes open. And it also means wherever you wanna do it, because hey, no kids again.
You might wonder where this is all coming from? Well it’s easy, one of my best friends who has zero kids and hence, does not comply to the extremely rewarding and joyful moments mentioned before, has just returned from the dreamy Maldives, with a great mood, a rich tan and a fresh attitude towards life. Something that is on my 2020 resolutions list too, by the way. This “almost-single” life also means she can jet off to The Maldives whenever wherever, where she can sip on Margaritas 24/7, get a tan without tiny hands or feet imprinted on her body, sleep through the night, consume all the dirty and guilty snacks without having to hide in the closet to do so, indulge in alcoholic beverages and other “forbidden” activities without worrying of setting the wrong example.
This means peace and quiet, romantic sunset walks, diving with sharks and being treated like a Queen.
Got the mood yet?
I know I did. BRB, currently googling how to make it here through the technology of teleportation.