First Days of Kindergarden: Sweet Taste of Freedom or Rather Not?

It’s time for one of the many more to come stories written by my dearest fellow mom friends. It can be friends, it can be strangers, it can be people I know or people I love- the thing is that sharing is both liberating and inspiring and this is where the naked truth is coming out. This is where the ‘life behind the curtains’ is revealed, and this is how we like it. Now that it’s September, it’s by default ‘back to school’ time, and for others ‘Welcome to school/ kindergarden’ time- and this month it was my dear friend’s turn to experience the bittersweet feeling of sending off your second child into the jungle. I mean, at kindergarden.
And with this new chapter come expectations- coming home to loud music and non stop Netflix binge-watching, SPA appointments, window shopping, spontaneous sex with the husband on his lunch break, coffee dates, reading, hour long showers, dreaming, not-doing-any-fuckingthing, and so on. Well, life usually proves us different, and so was this case too.

Enjoy reading some real talk about the first days of kindergarden.

“I am going to start this by saying that I never ever wrote anything, it’s not something I consider myself being good at, I can’t even write a freakin’ instagram photo caption.  Buut, since my good friend Mara asked me to talk about the experience of dropping off  both of my kids (!!) for the first time at kindergarden, and since she is one of the incest and sweetest girls I know, I just couldn’t say no. So, please bear with me..:)

Everybody started asking me days before how I am feeling, if I already started making sweet escape plans, coffee dated with friends, shopping without actually running like crazy through shops, massages, spa and the list can go on. I honestly didn’t know what to respond, I had no idea how this new chapter was going to look like and made no plans ahead.

So, The Day arrived and for the first and second day, I did not move from the kindergarten’s front gate, waiting to take home and comfort my crying little one. Who did not cry, almost at all, and stayed there and played for the whole 4-5 hours. In the kindergarden’s court there was a table where the teachers wrote a message for the parents: ‘Mommy, daddy, please don’t cry, I am doing just fine’ or something like that and I remember that I laughed when I saw it (foolish me).

On the third day, I let both boys there and I came back home, all ALONE. I entered the house, all that peace and quiet stroke me and I had planned a long, relaxing solo shower for myself.  So I played some loud music (I am guessing now that I needed to stop hearing my own thoughts in that silence) and on my way to the bathroom, it just hit me, all of the sudden, and I started crying, but crying with all my heart… everywhere I was looking in the house there were memories with my sweet baby boys small, even the mirror on the hallway it reminded me of hours and hours of dancing with them in front of it so they will stop crying and fall asleep.

I realized that these 4 years, the hardest and the most beautiful and full of love years of my life have come to an end, soo fast… and a new chapter is starting for all of us. I will go back to work and they will continue going to kindergarden, then school, because this is life..

I am that kind of mom who literally stayed and lived for the kids all these first years of their lives, in our happy, messy, loud bubble, at home. And I was not feeling at all eager for this to end, even though of course, I sometimes missed conversations with other adults, getting nicely dressed and doing something else other that being a MOM.

So, fast forward, here I am now, a week later..:) I have the entire house cleaned, all the closets, all the book shelters and toys cupboards arranged. Because this is what I have being doing with my first week of freedom.

Somehow, besides the fact that I really love having the house all neat and clean – something I can never do with them home-, I think I wanted to keep my mind occupied, not to overthink this period and for me, I also get my calm from having the house all arranged and tidy, with fresh flowers. Probably because this house has been the place I stayed more than 90% of these past years and is definitely my happy place.

Buut, I also started making plans for going out, even managed to meet a good friend for a coffee, and started shopping for make up, all kinds of face creams and treatments, since apparently I will start having more me time and  eventually will start going out more, job related  and not only.

After this first week I think I can say that is definitely not an easy change, and it comes with loads of thoughts and all kinds of emotions, but it does get easier and little by little we will all find our new routine and make it work in the best way for the four of us  

We will see how My first day of work after 4 and a half years will go..:)) I can already see lots of emotions coming and probably some tears too. “

Written by my dearest friend, Andreea (Realmomster, mom of 2 boys of 4 and almost 2 years old).
Thank you.
all the love

xx

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